Falling Forward: I Am An Addict
I am an addict.
Every morning, the first thing I do before rubbing my eyes, or yawning.
I have the same craving.
I do it automatically, can’t avoid or postpone.
I check my email.
My name is Rick, and I am addicted to checking my email.
I check email as soon as I am awake. On my phone.
I check email as soon as I am having coffee. On my tablet.
I check email as soon as I am at work. On my computer.
I work on designs for a client. I check email.
I write proposals for a new client. Check email.
I meet with team members. Check.
I read the news, browse an endless scroll. Email.
I watch television, laugh along with reality show hosts. Email.
I write notes, update to-do lists so I feel in control of reality. Email.
I’m sure I can stop any time, right?
I’m just choosing not to?
My illness is that I can’t stand having unread emails.
I have a zero tolerance policy..
Truth? I lean into my addiction.
I’m not even trying to quit. It’s true.
In my defense, email is damn exciting.
Email brings me news of the world.
Email tells me stories about my hobbies, my passions, my interests.
Email notifies me of project updates and business opportunities.
So I remain addicted.
Something I have to do now.
Who knows, might be something from you this time.